Do you have a fear of letting someone new in, because you were hurt in your last relationship?
Are you currently in a relationship and feel kind of blah about it, but continue to stay because you hate being alone?
Are you in a "complicated" relationship in which your needs aren't being met - yet you continue to pour your love into him, because you hope that one day he'll love you back?
I'm sure most of us can agree that at one time or another we've experienced one if not all of the above.
Love can be tough. It's complicated, confusing and scary yet at the same time it's an undeniable human need that you will forever deeply yearn for. This is why we have made love such an important topic all across our site and in the Eat for Love Online Course.
Today we are going to share with you our top tips to re-infuse partnership, passion and excitement into your love life. Whether you've been married for a decade or are currently single - once you hear these strategies, you will be able to not only create your soul-mate - you'll keep him around for the long-haul.
1. Learn to speak each other's love languages. We all receive love differently and it's our natural instinct to love others the way we wish to be loved. Makes sense right?
For example, if you enjoy a back rub before bed you gift one to your lover. Or if you appreciate when your man cooks, you get up early to surprise him with his favorite breaky. You are constantly outpouring love - yet for some reason it feels like your lover hardly notices.
The same goes the other way - in which you may feel like the few, simple needs you have aren't being met - i.e. he keeps being late, he never wants to go on dates, or he forgets to pick up dinner on his way home.
And lastly if you're single, you may wonder why the same crappy scenario keeps happening to you. You may feel like you've given your lovers everything in the past and it was never enough. Know that you've always been more than enough and are completely worthy of love - you just weren't fluent in his language yet. Here's the good news, beautiful...it's all about to finally make sense.
According to Gary Chapman in his best-selling book The Five Love Languages, there are 5 love languages.
- Love Language # 1: Words of Affirmation : verbalizing all of the things you love about your partner.
- Love Language # 2: Quality Time : spending uninterrupted time together like going on trips or chatting over dinner.
- Love Language # 3: Receiving Gifts : getting flowers or some kind of thoughtful surprise.
- Love Language # 4: Acts of Service : doing tasks or chores like taking out the trash or mowing the lawn
- Love Language # 5: Physical Touch : holding hands, cuddling, hugging, kissing, or making love.
Begin to discover your own love languages. How do you best receive love? How do you typically give love? Are the answers to both questions similar?
If you're single, brainstorm about past relationships. Did you love him the way you wanted to be loved or the way he was craving to be loved? If you're in a relationship have a conversation with your lover about the 5 languages and create clarity by identifying how you each receive love.
2. Don't make assumptions. Assumptions aren't real and they paint a distorted picture of reality in our minds. Respect yourself and respect your current or future partners by never making assumptions. As Don Miguel Ruiz says, "If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don't tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. Even if we hear something and we don't understand we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don't have the courage to ask questions."
3. Communicate. You will only be able to create and keep your soul-mate by communicating. Try having a weekly chat with your partner. Discuss what you appreciate about each other and also what you would like to see more of. Creating a weekly time to connect, will ensure both people feel heard and validated. If you are single, create a weekly time to journal about what you love about yourself and what you would like to see more of - after all, everything we create starts from within.
Love, Hannah & Marisa
If there is someone in your life who you think would enjoy this article, be a beautiful friend and pass it along so every woman can create the love she deserves. Did you enjoy this article? If you want to receive more exclusive tips and inspiration sent straight to your inbox, sign up for our love-filled newsletter here.