We've all been there at some point or another...eagerly waiting to take steps forward until someone else gives us permission to do so. We've experienced it with our relationships, food, health, career, and pretty much every area of life at some point or another.
As women, we are especially known to seek permission - we are nurturers, lovers and caretakers by nature so of course we care about the opinions of others! We would never want our actions (even if it's what we need most) to have a negative ripple effect upon anyone else! And so we wait...we wait for permission from someone we love and respect before we can leap forward towards the path we know we want.
So what's the deal? If we know we want something and if it feels right down to the core of our being then what the heck are we waiting for?!
It all comes down to one simple little thing: we don't trust ourselves.
FOOD: The other day, a client came to us so fed up! For years, she had been depriving herself of the foods she loved - dairy, sweets, bread, grains, and the list went on. She felt like she had been so restrictive and the cravings hadn't stopped like people said they would. When we asked her what she really wanted, what her gut was really telling her - she shamefully admitted she wanted to eat all of the foods she had restricted. She came to us seeking permission to eat the foods she was fantasizing about, because she couldn't give it to herself. She didn't trust herself with the food - she believed that once she started, she wouldn't have the will power to stop. Over the course of our time together, she gradually gave herself permission to eat anything she wanted and as a result those foods become unattractive and non-threatening. Today she chooses to eat nourishing foods, because they make her feel good - no rules or restrictions necessary, because she trusts herself.
Trust is the golden path to living our truth. Without trust, we will forever look to others to give us the answers. Seems silly though, doesn't it? Don't we know what we need more than anyone else? Don't we know ourselves better than anyone else?
When we get mixed up in our minds and begin to second guess ourselves, it means we are living from our minds not our hearts. We are denying our intuition and space of inner truth when we wait for permission to live out the life we know we want.
Here are some other common places we see this pop up:
SELF-LOVE: We can still remember how it felt when our Sassy Bullies were in the driver's seat and our self-worth was dragging behind, holding on for dear life. It was in this time that we could only love ourselves if someone else loved us first. It went a little something like this, "I can't find anything to wear! What about this shirt? no. What about this dress? no again. I'm going to be late for work! I can't handle this - nothing looks good on me, I feel bloated and disgusting. Seriously I don't even want to go to work today, I hate myself right now. That's it, I'm working out twice a day everyday! (In walks your lover) "Oh babe, I love that dress!! Have you been working out, darling? Whatever you're doing is definitely working, because you are looking sexy!!" Immediately a smile spreads across your face and you take another look in the mirror and think, "I do look good, this might be my favorite dress I own right now. I can't wait to show up to work like this." We needed permission to acknowledge ourselves as pretty, smart or funny and could only do so if someone else said it first. Ugh, how exhausting this was!
CAREER: Sometimes it's too scary to want what we want, so we even suppress it from ourselves sometimes. A beautiful client of ours has worked the same job with nearly the same pay for over 10 years. She hasn't felt respected or valued, she isn't inspired by the work she does there, yet she constantly made excuses to defend her work environment. Like, "I worked overtime every single day this week and no one even thanked me or noticed me. I am so uninspired to sell insurance and deal with all of the customer complaints. But I'm lucky to have this job, because I've had it for so long and lots of people out there don't even have jobs. I'm so ungrateful to complain." This cycle she would play out every single day. She lied so well that even she believed herself. When we asked her straight up, "Does your job bring you joy?" She couldn't even answer us for several minutes. She crackily said, "Well ya of course I do. I have great benefits, I've worked there for over 10 years, I get to work from home. Of course I like my job." She hadn't given herself permission to ask herself what she really wanted. It wasn't until months later that she realized she wanted something more...that she deserved something more. Today she works in the wellness space and loves her job.
Begin to tune into all of the various areas you seek permission in your life: relationships, health, happiness, wealth, and transitional times. It pops up all over the place. By simply bringing the light of awareness into your life, it is no longer dark and scary. So now the question is what do you do about it?
What to do:
It's simple...give YOURSELF unconditional permission to live - permission to enjoy, to laugh, to love, to eat, to drink, to pursue your passion, to fall in love. When you give yourself unconditional (not just temporary or "I'm back on my routine tomorrow") permission to live, you get to live... it's that simple.
You aren't getting any younger and you aren't going to be re-handed opportunities that you let pass you by! This moment is never going to happen again! Or this one....or even this one. It's gone, just like that!
So you have a choice to make. You can choose to live your truth or wait for permission to do so. Love or fear?
You will always be rewarded for living from your intuition, your personal truth, your heart space. Even if it doesn't immediately create the ideal results you were hoping for - your intuition is always right - it never fails. So let's stand up to our sassy bullies and demand the unconditional permission we deserve! Let's choose love over fear, choose to trust rather than seek permission! Stop waiting, darling. You know exactly what you need to do so go do it! We believe in you - now it's time for you to believe in you, too.
So tell us, gorgeous. Where have you been seeking permission in your life? What is one action you can take today that you've been putting off out of fear? Let us know in the comments below to hold yourself accountable. We are always here for you.
lots of love,
Hannah & Marisa
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