Have you ever started to make a change in your life for the better and you feel like others around you aren't supportive, seem upset, or keep telling you it's a bad idea?
Maybe you decided to change careers or start to set limits with how you allow others to treat you, maybe you changed your eating habits, or it's as simple as you starting to feel and look better.
People don't always appreciate change! But most of all they're afraid.
Everyday we work with women who find themselves taking control of their lives and they face the difficulty of dealing with their loved ones, friends or family, who aren't always supportive of their new triumphs and success!
This is especially true when it comes to setting limits, when we decided to take care of ourselves for the first time ever, or we're taking on something that most other people wouldn't have the courage to do.
The challenging part is not letting what other people say or do stop us from moving forward with our goals, dreams, and what will make us truly happy.
When we begin to pursue our dreams our priorities shift and there is a change in how we act and how we are with people. The things you talk about, the group of people you surround yourself with, and even what you eat and drink might be different.
That means that the way your loved ones might interact with you may be different and that can be challenging for them. They might feel left out or wish they could experience what you are experiencing.
We know that all of you at some point will experience someone trying to squash your dreams or rain on your parade, usually unintentionally.
So here are three ways to stay happy and keep pursuing your dreams when others around you seem critical:
1. Listen with compassion.
So often the real reason that people get upset when they experience you changing is fear they're going to lose the relationship they have with you or they're scared for you to fail. Our loved ones want us to be happy and they want to be happy too, but they aren't always good at expressing that. So listen for what they are really saying, even if it sounds selfish, condescending, or controlling, there is something behind it that is more important.
2. Stand up for yourself and what is important to you.
There will never be a time in your life when you will please everyone! Never! So it's time to start pleasing yourself. If something is truly making you happy and it's important to you, stick with it. Share with others about how happy it's making you. It's the moment we're unsure or we're scared that others get scared for you. It's also important to tactfully let others know how they are making you feel, not in a blaming way. We may not change the way they act or the things they say, but we can let them know kindly how their comments make you feel.
3. Take responsibility of how you feel.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. It's important to remember, that the things other people say to you aren't the truth and it doesn't have to stop you. Have you ever noticed that no matter what people say supportive or not we still feel bad, scared, or not good enough. What other people say only bothers us when we are scared our unsure ourselves. So believe in yourself.
4. You are important and so are your dreams.
There are going to be a million reasons why you should put other people first, but the truth is you'll never have what you want if you don't take care of yourself and what's important to you. Who do you put the air mask on first when the cabin pressure drops on an airplane? The answer is you! If you're not taking care of you, you can't take care of anyone else.
Of course that doesn't mean stop being responsible for the feelings of others, but stand up for what's important to you at the same time! No one can stop you from pursuing your dreams!
Hannah & Marisa
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